I hate writing poetry.

But i just wrote this. I think it is probably crap and its by no means happy. But I just wanted to write and this is what came to me.

My eyes blur

Your words like ice, freeze my body.

My breathing halts. I can’t blink.

My head shuts down, everything stops.

To let my crystal heart shatter.

My lips quiver, I search but no response.

I try to move but my feet are solid.

I’m suffocating

Suddenly screaming

I can’t make sense

My head says a thousand things.

Yet I say nothing.

Shoulders tense.

I want to cry. But I can’t. I can’t. I try. But I can’t.

I am stone.

Winter 2013 Schedule

Another 18 credits but I am hoping that it will feel easier because I am in class for less hours. And I won't have the crappy art class that sucks the time out of my weekends.

Hair and Half Loafs

I've thoroughly been enjoying my weekend so far. Thursday we had glee night with just Roz, Eli, Oryan and me. IT was diferent with just us four but it was fun all the same. There was no homework that night! (For me) Then today i woke up before my regular alarm goes off feeling sore but great. Went to Starbucks with Chelsea and Roz and heard about their degree changing ideas. Then went back and worked on my art project before going to a Chiropractor appointment. I felt much better after my half hour massage! :-) And came home and did art. Then on a whim Rosalyn and I decided to go out and get haircuts from Oryans older sister who is awesome at cutting hair. I am shocked she works at Super Cuts because she is crazy good at hair. She wants her own salon and I would so go there! I cut it shorter than usual but it is still long. Not chopped all of by any means. Though i think i look more like mom now... But Rosalyn with her super long hair decided to go short and cut it. Then after we got home she dyed it.
 Looked/looks like this now:

I like it. I cut mine shorter and it gave her the courage to go for it. She looks super good i think. Which is saying something because i don't tend to like short hair very much. She took that picture in the car on the way home. But then we came home and watched Say Yes to the Dress and I finished my second art collage. Which again took a really long time. But its cool. I unintentionally made planet looking things. But they are cool i think. Also i taught Rosalyn about half loaf sales ;-)

Tomorow i have a pep game and then going home so that i can go dress shopping on Monday!

Aix Look 2

http://www.cisabroad.com/study-abroad/france/semester-in-aix-en-provence/student-life#anchor

This is another site that shows what the deal is on my Study Abroad.

Rough

What a rough couple of days. I have been feeling exhausted lately. 18 credits with the classes that they are kinda kills me sometimes. Especially this stupid art class that is 6 hours a week and 12 on Saturdays. Because of how much work I have to do for it. Thats just obnoxious. This past week i had my midterm papers. They were kinda hard and i am not happy with them. In general just boring and not super well written with good translations. It has been a while since i wrote a real essay so it just gets away from me. Anyways those are due on Tuesday along with my French essay and vocab test and a math test. Not hard but just a lot of work. This weekend I went and looked at a wedding venue with Spegan. It was alright. I think not their style. The ceremony part was but the actual reception wasn't what i think they are looking for. Yesterday though it all just hit me like how much stuff is going on. And mostly how much money everything is going to cost me. I feel like i have less time than work. When we got back home yesterday i just crashed on Rosalyns bed and unloaded my stress. My problem with all this wedding stuff is that it isn't happening on a timeline that makes sense to me. Which is whatever but it's sucky when i block out a day to do wedding stuff and get in that mindset that we just from lets spend 5 hours today looking at one venue. Then come home and lets do homework all night. I dunno maybe it is just me thinking wouldn't this make more sense to just take a full day and look at 3 or 4 places and get that scheduled so that we don't have to make 4 different trips? I guess because we have to have every person in the families opinion. But i guess what makes no sense to me isn't that but for which areas of the wedding does who's input or opinion matter. I dunno maybe it's better for me to just go hands off for the wedding. I don't really understand what is going on anymore.

I have been feeling like i am going to throw up for like a week now. I think it i from stress but it is really annoying. Tonight Rosalyn and I went to Olive Garden in order to de-stress/ we had been craving it. afterwords we went to Target and that was fun.  This was after spending 3 and a half hours at the library writing on of my papers.I need to get a move on with my France stuff. And tomorrow i have to meet with my adviser to figure out next terms classes for sure. I hope it doesn't go horrible. But mostly lately i am getting that sense of oh crap i have to spend so much money on stuff soon. Which makes me stress out. It makes me feel like i need to have a job right now in order to pay for stuff that is coming up. But really do i have time for that? I wish...

I need to send out my Christmas list.