Engagement!

I GOT ENGAGED YESTERDAY!!!!!!!

Today someone brought up the point of how though the outcome of choices in life can be the same, that it is the journey that matters.

I would like to expound upon that and talk about how that applies well to my college career. But it is 11:54 and I'm exhausted.

New beginnings all over Again

So now my blog title has had to change once again as I find myself at George Fox. That means that this is really my fourth college in four years... Wasn't exactly the plan that I had starting out in college but I guess things happen. I haven't really had much time to adjust yet since this is only my fourth day of school but I can definitely tell that things are different here than at any other school.

One of the big things is obviously the religion. It is a bit strange to see bible passages in my syllabi and at the end of every other sentence in a PowerPoint. It is different and not something that I am used to yet. Also praying at the beginning of class is a bit odd coming from the secular school side of things.



But the religion isn't the most shocking part of Fox to me. It's the incredible sense of community. It is a literal everyone knows pretty much everyone and is connected to each other. It isn't a hey introduce yourselves in the group for a group discussion and then forget everyone's names it is a constant attempt to remember who that girl was that couldn't find the bathrooms on the second floor and the girl who spilled her water bottle behind you. People are genuinely interested in knowing other people. You can say yeah I was talking to that girl Alyssa in the theater department and people who you are talking to will know exactly who you are talking about. You really are known here. People don't treat this college as a go to class and get it done, but it is it's own environment. It's own culture really. It's strange...

I haven't yet found my niche but I'm not worried about it. I have the theater capstone class this term and as soon as I walked in everyone wanted to know my name and introduced themselves before class. So I don't have a fear about getting in, it just hasn't happened yet. I think I need a bit longer than 4 days.



Commuting is kind of sucky. I don't mind it that much because the drive isn't bad. But not being able to run home to make lunch or to get some work done is strange. I suppose I could go to Thad's but it seems kind of packed. They have 4 boys plus usually a 5th or 6th and plus me in that apartment feels like I am being intrusive. And I don't feel comfortable being there when Thad's not there. Which wasn't a problem last year but for some reason this year feels that way...

I am happy here but it is just all very different. The class layouts are very different and my entire term is so focused on reading and not writing papers that it feels very strange. And going back to St.Helens for work and being a TA with my own hours and working on the show is a lot to balance. Not because of the work load but because of the brain capacity to process each thing and everything at the same time. I'm hoping that a lot of that will resolve after I get more of a schedule going. I still haven't figured out my plan for when I will go home each day and how I will pass spare time on campus. I think more time will help but it is hard to stay focused constantly. I'm looking forward to my weekends.

I am happy here. I think it was the best move for me to come here. I like being able to see Thad everyday. It isn't always the most quality of time we have together but it is good to have some "both of us are busy but we make it work" interactions. I feel like we haven't done much of that and we need that experience.

I'm doing a lot of trying to figure out the way things work here because it is so different than my other collegiate experiences.

It is also a lot harder for me to concentrate this week on school. My brain isn't use to focusing on someone lecture at me and I find myself not spacing out but having my own thought bubbles in response to the instructor block out their questions or part of the lecture. My brain hasn't had to listen and mentally respond while still paying attention for a while so it is hard for it to do it.

I have a feeling most of this term is going to be a bit hectic. So I will look forward to my Christmas break :-)

Rest in Peace

I've been kind of struggling lately with the concept of Rest in Peace.

And I've been working up the nerve to get my thoughts about it out but every time I get close it feels like someone dies and it seems like a bad time...

I don't like the phrase. Rest in Peace. It sounds so final but then it makes me wonder if it is because of the connuntation. We would never say that to someone going to sleep. For rather obvious reasons. But we think it works for death.

Rest in Peace.

Maybe it's just me but it makes it seem like the person is going to have their soul just lay in the box and just rest there. forever. And we are hoping no one digs them up. That's what I think about when I hear it. But that isn't what I believe happens. I don't think that we sit in a box. I believe we go to heaven. And we dance and sing and worship God. We don't Rest in Peace. We celebrate in heaven.

So it makes me wonder why people in the church use the term. Shouldn't we say something like D.I.H. Dance in Heaven? Or something more full of life? Rest in Peace sounds so... solemn.

Just my thoughts badly expressed.

It's Difficult

It’s difficult.

When I’m over here.                                                                                               

And you’re over there.

Because all I want is to do is to work my way closer to you. 

But I’m stuck over here.

Just me.

Thinking of you.

Sending you my love.

       Missing my heart.

                                Because it is with you.

Post.

I've been trying not to get homesick, because I feel like once I do then I will be miserable. But I feel like I have been here for so long already but I know it hasn't even been a month.

The stupid WOU lady is mad at me for not using the DIVE technique in my blog each week for the school. WTF does that even mean? DIVE technique--describe, investigate, verify, and explain. Okay... But like what does that actually mean she wants me to do? And honestly her stupid blog is literally the last thing on my mind. I have to put a sticky note on my computer just to remember that I need to do it. And I really care 0.0000000% about it.

I really haven't been impressed with Western or CIS in this whole process. I feel like everything would have been a lot smoother if I had gone straight through IAU like everyone else did.

I'm jealous that everyone elses boyfriends and parents and stuff are coming to see them. And while I know it makes more sense for the money my parents would spend to go to me, I still wish sometimes that I would get to see them more. Cassidy is coming which I am really excited about but that isn't for three months. Its hard to not be able to be in contact all the time. I don't like not being able to be a text away because even though theoretically I am it matters if i have internet or whether it is 3am at home.
I miss how easy life is at home. Where I only have to answer for myself and I understand the culture and rules. It isn't the same here which i guess is why I came. And i'm having a good time I just wish that I would have more connection. I wish i was living on my own maybe where i could put things where i want and take a shower wen i want and not feel like I am an invader in someone elses home.