Sorry...

About anyone who saw last nights post... i get angry or frustrated and upset and my instinct is to strike back at anyone around. I self implode. I;m so frustrated and trapped here. I feel soooo trapped. And stuck. I feel a lot of pressure because of everything.

I'm just sick of everyone here being so perfect. And dressing so perfect. And talking so perfect. And acting so perfect. And last night i went to Colloquium and it was all about how awesome Linfield is and perfect and there's always someone to talk to and get help from and i've made so many good memories and blah blah blah. And i was just like please just get me out of here... I don't feel that way here. I hate it here. The room has made it standable but i hate it!!! I HATE IT. And i think Lighting is not what i want. The lifestyle that goes with it would not be worth it. And i don't want to light a stage for the rest of my life. And i don't want to live in a city. Or travel all the time. Or do 16 internships. Which apparently everyone around here has done. And volunteers 60 hours a week. Its just so stupid here! People look at you like you're an alien if you wear sweats. Like good god this is COLLEGE people. NOT THE FRICKIN' MISS AMERICA PAGEANT!!!!!!!! It just sucks here. And no one really believes me but i hate it and it sucks. And no there are not many nice people here. There aren't.

But i'm upset. Still. And its not getting better.

Biking

I took an hour bike ride today. It was good. I was frustrated and stuff. Tonight i had to go to a turkish music guy. He was kinda cool but kinda boring.

Welding

I learned/ tried welding today. It was kinda scary/cool. Yep. That's what i did at work. I learned how to do something fun/ sat around while the other two people did too. Pretty easy 8 bucks.

Schedule for Spring

Originally i said i wasn't going to take french and i was going to try something else. But I got the last registration time possible so everything was full. This is everything that i'm taking. Except for Stats. I got put on the waitlist for it. I'm hoping that since i emailed him that he may let me in...If he doesn't then i'm going to have to take Precalc... Which is at 8:15 to 9:05 everyday. And that would kinda suck. But it is 5 credits. In order to transfer i would need a math class this term. So that's what i'm going for. I could switch into Precalc right now because there are spots but its really early... and everyday.. and harder math... And i have taken precalc in high school but i dunno. I almost want to take like algebra because i liked algebra in high school.... And it was easy... Sorry dad. I know. But no i won't take geometry.

But yeah. If i have to take Precalc then i'll drop ballet. I'm only taking that because i need 16 credits. And its something that won't give me an attack.

Oh and the single number after is how many credits for the class. 

Concert

Thanks Grammy, Grandpa, Joe, Mom, Dad, Spencer, and Sami for coming to my concert :-)

I am in Class!

And it is crazyyyyyy booorrriiiinnnnggggggg. Worst class in the world. Today we have a work day to peer review. And she spent the first hour talking. It was quite annoying. But currently someone is peer editing my paper and i have nothing to do.... Hmmm...

Drum Corps Day

Today felt like a drum corps day. Really long and really boring and lots of doing nothing kinda. I woke up. Went to class. Rode back to the dorm for 3 minutes. Rode to Mahaffey to turn in key. Rode back to class. Rode to lunch. Ate food. Rode to dorm. Rode to other class. Rode to work. Rode to Albertsons. Rode to Dorm. Ate food. Rode to Dress Rehearsal. Rode to dorm. Rode to Different persons dorm. Rode back to my dorm. Walked to Ra's room. Walked upstairs.  And now i'm here and its 1:06 am. And i'm not tired. Even though on old DLS time it's 2. :-/ Really glad i have a bike.

Drank lots of water. Feel really sore from not riding a bike in a long time. Bored. Empty. Like no texts.

Felt like OC.