Flowers from Grandpa!

My Grandpa sent me flowers! They are beautiful!

Bye Tonsils

I got them taken out today. Now i am on the cold drink and mashed potato diet. I feel pretty crappy. But holy cow i looked in my throat and everything is white. Even my tongue. It is gross. But also WOW i had big Tonsils! I actually have a throat now! WOW! I was really not prepared for thinking it would be a real surgery with a gown and everything. I thought it would be like wisdom teeth where you just kinda pop in get the iv and do it. But noppppe. It took all day and was pretty legit. I had to wear a hair net and everything. And leg compressors. And bad socks they didnt even have heel spots. They also put my in this swank gown that puffed up and was warm. It was cool. But now here i am. SLeeping and drinking cold drinks. And taking ALL the drugs.

Say whaaat?

So my positive feelings and attitude about my tonsils turned out to be a bust. I went to the ENT doctor and he pretty much looked (after an hour of talking about housing market, financial aid, how to get a job, Stephen King, mouth guard things, his kids, art history, etc.*) ((*if even an etc could exist from this vast array of topics)) and said that YES they are quite large and it would be best to take them out. He said if i didn't they would just get worse and worse and cause sore throats and sickness and colds and make it harder to breathe, and act up at inopportune times. He said if i didn't have the surgery he would give me antibiotics and i could take them after they act up and cause problems but that it would never go away. GREAT.

So the surgery will take about 30 minutes and have a recovery time of 10-14 days. That's missing a lot of school. But he can do my tonsils and my nose surgery at the same time. WHAT. WHAT NOSE SURGERY!?!? Apparently ladies and gentlemen, the reason i breathe through my mouth is because my nasal cavities are TINY. So he wants to melt them somehow or something. But he can't do ALL of the things normally done in a plain nose surgery because he's not allowed or whatever. So if i really wanted to i could come BACK to finish the rest. WHAT. But he doesnt think i would need the other part. But the nose surgery would really help my sleep apnea. WHAT?! I have sleep apnea!? What is going on!?!?

Apparently I have:
Obstructive Sleep Apnea
Chronic Tonsillitis
Chronic Tonsillolith
Nasal Obstruction

GREAT! Just what i always wanted... So now i have to figure out when the heck i am going to do this all. I think what i am starting to realize is that the sooner that i do it will overall be better. And better to miss school early in the term than later. And not wait until next term when i have a bunch of teachers that i don't know. So Spring break wouldn't be long enough and would then kill any spring break plans. And summer is kinda out because of all the events that i have going on and then if something went wrong like an infection or something then it is a problem because of France. So CRAP! This sucks!!!

There is a ton of health benefits of doing it. But frankly it sounds like a real pain in the ass. Especially because like who is going to take care of me? So that sucks... And what about classes?

So i emailed all my professors saying i want to have meeting with them. But i think that the best thing to do is to move forward with it and get it done ASAP. Or else i know me and i will try to put it off for the rest of forever and then it will just get worse and worse.

P.s. I thought it was interesting about the nose thing that he could tell i don't breathe through it like EVER. After one look. Why did no one ever tell me to get this done before. My nose breathing is pathetic. I guess i will (pun coming up) breathe a little easier knowing it will be done and out of the way for France though.  :-)

Doctors...

So my tonsils hadn't improved and a couple nights ago i couldn't sleep because of a sore throat. It hurts when I swallow. So now that school started I went in to health services and told them the whole story. How i went to my primary doctor after one month and she did nothing and didn't test for anything and now it is about a month later and it isn't any better. She looked pretty skeptical at this point as to WHY they didn't even bother with a strep test just to rule it out. She said it costs like 5 bucks. Okay works for me! She said my throat is definitely irritated. And my left tonsil is VERY MUCH enlarged. She did a strep test and it was negative. Then she told me that she wants to refer me to an ENT (Ear Nose Throat) doctor. She ran my blood to rule out mono and see if something is going on in my blood work or i am fighting an infection. She also gave me some Penicillin to try for a week. If it gets better then YAY!!!!!! But if not then she suspects they will want to take them out... Which means surgery... Which means that I would also have to do recovery... In the middle of the term... Gross. SO i am hoping the antibiotics will get rid of it. At least I am telling myself it will.

Feliz Año Nuevo Parents!

So my parents are on a plane to Mexico right now which is pretty cool i think. Spur of the morning and found cheap tickets so i encouraged mom that we could find someone to take care of the dogs. So i guess i am coming home on Tuesday to help with that. They will be back Tuesday night so it is a pretty quick trip but i think they will love it. They need a good trip without us kids and moms face at the security gate showed she was pretty happy. But that was an interesting morning call. I am happy for them. They are spending New years in Mexico!

Today was pretty chill for those of us Mo-towners who are around enjoying our last week before school starts again. Meg and I spent our day at the boys house where we did... not a lot. Just Dance in the morning. Watched 21 Jump Street and then they played Quelf! and I played Dragoon. Until i got bored and we all sat around for an hour and a half. Ate au gratin potatoes and talked and such. Complete definition of a "lazy day". No one wanted to do anything outside of the living room and we all were being burrito blanket monsters all day since the boys don't pay for heating their house.

I had a good Christmas with the Helwigs yesterday. Chris is home now and it was good to see him. Hopefully i will again before he goes back to SoCal. Also, Robyn and I both got each other the exact same pajamas as gifts... And then the exact same pajamas for ourselves when we were purchasing the gift for each other. So that was pretty funny that we both thought such similar things, owls and Purple stripes for the win this year! But it was really funny. I got my sketch pad back from Grandpa and it is pretty sweeeeeeet. I love all his doodle work and now i have a full book of sketches he does and drawings and such. They are really cool. BUt it has been a great holiday! I am excited i have a week more of break but i have to use it to get a lot of forms done and scholarships. Blecccch. I will start on Tuesday :-) AFTER the new year :-)

Merry Christmas Ya'll

This year has been a pretty good christmas. We did the harkins christmases in a row and got to host at my house which was kinda cool. Much more laid back than it was at theirs i think. But maybe just because i am more comfortable at my own house. We had sooooo much food. All really good but wow lots of food!

I got a lot of cool french stuff this year and got a replacement chain for the one that i lost and even a little Eiffel tower to PUT on it! I got a new laptop cooling which i needed since mine broke. Also a teapot a calendar, some cool art, fuzzy pjs and socks, a t-shirt, and other stuff which was also good.

Mostly today we have been playing the new video games megan and spencer got and chillin. We played my new Disney Princess Candyland game as a family and also old maid. It was awesome! Mom made fudge finally after two group christmases without it! So that was good. Now i am debating to go change back into my sweaty clothes to play games or what. So i dunno. I've been playing a lot of Legends of Dragoon for PS1 lately. I'm only on the second disc out of four. But one of these days i'll have to get a lot of work done on my France application. Bleh. Applying to colleges sucks.

Importance

I miss feeling important. In high school I felt important. I did a lot for a lot of different groups. I helped out a lot of people in different ways. I felt important to a lot of people.

Now i don't feel very important. I don't really feel like i am doing much. I'm not in a relationship anymore. And i'm not even like a special someone to anyone. No one talks about me with their extended family. And i miss that. And i miss DOING stuff. That made me feel important. Now i feel kinda unimportant.

I want a relationship. But not for the right reasons. I want to feel important again. And special to someone.